Archive for Band Reviews

Lady Gaga

Hermaphra-wha??!

So my girlfriend thought it would be funny to request I review Lady Gagagagagagaga and I finally got bored enough to do it. So here it goes.

I just watched like…4 music videos and read about her on Wikipedia and her own website. I’m going to do this a little differently. Here are my likes and dislikes about the Lady that is Gaga.

Likes:

Her hair and her dresses and stuff.

I think fashion is stupid and as unnecessary as pog collections or Pokemon cards (pogs isn’t a recognized word in my spell checker by the way), and she is either mocking it or dominating it. Either way, it’s pretty hilarious. It’s also entertaining. It’s like when you watch the Simpsons and you wait for the couch scene in the opening credits and you never know what you’re going to get. It’s the same thing. Every time I started a video I couldn’t wait to see what the hell was going to be on her head and hanging off her shoulders.

Her songs.

I don’t really like her voice and I really don’t like female singers too often, but she writes good music. She’s got talent, but it’s kind of hidden behind her voice and her lyrics. I don’t really like her lyrics. I also like the da-da-da-da-ta-la-la-la stuff she does. That’s fun. I’m on board for that. It reminds me of the Banana Splits theme.

If anyone is wondering what to get my for my birthday, I would like a Banana Buggy.

Her roots.

I respect the fact that she comes from the streets of NY where she performed until she was discovered. Then she wrote songs for a while and then cut an album. I respect that. It sounds like she earned it.

Dislikes:

Her lyrics and voice.

As I said before, most female singers don’t appeal to me. I like some of them if a) they’re good enough or b) they don’t just bitch and complain. She fits neither category.

The hype.

Like most pop stars in their prime, she doesn’t live up to the hype, and of course that will be her downfall. She is shocking and sexy, which will carry her a long way in a fan base that makes Jersey Shore relevant. I don’t think she’s going to go anywhere soon, but she will end up hitting a brick wall in a few years when she runs out of ways to top herself.

Poker Face

For bringing this song into the world she deserves to be hated forever. I’m more tired of this song than I am of my job, my money problems, and everyone who can’t drive in Los Angeles all rolled up into one “I’m-so-sick-of-this” burrito.

Final score:  a 79.  C+ for the Lady.  Maybe she’ll impress me.  Her career is still young.  However, for now, I give her a C+.

There you go, Steph.  Now leave me alone about it.

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Weezer (2009)

Very seldom does a band reach a state of acclaim that no matter what they do or have done, it is hailed as genius.  The Beetles have done it, Prince has done it with some people, Green Day almost did it, and now, Weezer has done it.  I don’t know how, I don’t know why, but it’s the only way to explain how a band can go from this:
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to this:

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and still be well recieved by critics and fans.
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I mean, just look at the difference in lyricism.  From the Blue Album to the Red Album, it’s as if Rivers Cuomo decided to stop caring.  I put this on Rivers because the Space Twins were great and The Rentals were great, so what’s left?  Well, mostly Rivers.
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The most redundant song.
That I’ve ever hoourd (heard)
Was Troublemaker
It really sucks’r.
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See, I can rhyme just like Rivers! In Troublemaker, Rivers rhymes “football” and “ball”, and “be-ach” and “kyiads.” and I don’t know who Bob is.
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Lazy.
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Also, the themes the band used to tackle are gone.  The band used to be so geeky they were cool.  Now they’re trying to be so cool, they’re lame.  It all seems so forced.  This rapping thing, this whole rebellion thing, it’s not the Weezer from the Blue and Green albums that I used to sing along with.
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And to everyone who likes them, that’s fine, but admit it’s not as good.  I mean, I don’t like getting punched in my stomach, but even people who do couldn’t honestly say they’d rather get punched in the stomach than drive a Ferrari.
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I know, nothing good can last, but at least admit that there is no comparison what-so-ever to any of the other great stuff Weezer did.  I had a friend who said Make Believe made her want to cry.  Maybe that’s why they named the album that.  Maybe we were all supposed to make believe they have talent.
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Sorry guys, I don’t have the time to pretend you’re still competent.
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I’m going to listen to Radattiude.  No idea why, I guess to see if they’ve come around.  The new single is a little better than stuff since the Green album, so I’m going to keep an open mind.  I’ll have my review up soon.
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Until then, Weezer.  You get a D+.  The D is for trying and the plus is simply because you at least show some potential to return to what you once were.